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The Fear Triad

Updated: Feb 7, 2022

“The confrontation of our fear triad is the foremost milestone of our journey.”

Excerpts from The Man From Autumn:

“There is an invigorating force ready to propel us out of disillusionment when we choose to learn from our anguish. Some welcome the chance to abandon misery, while others retain their disparaging formulas and seem surprised when the obvious pain remains. Those who wallow in their toxic reruns are cognizant of their position and can be very incisive about what enslaves them while somehow remaining stuck. The reluctance to give up self-destructive patterns ranging from addictions to abusive relationships has been attributed to unworthiness, passive control, masochism, and other counterproductive devices.

“Although these defeatist behaviors are certainly identifiable in those who live in misery, they only reflect distractions rather than causes. Just like obsessions and compulsions are strategies to avoid anxiety-producing thoughts and emotions, self-destructive behaviors are paradoxical efforts to deny our mortality. Every act of self-destructiveness is a futile attempt to defy the inevitable end we dread: a choice of piecemeal suicide to circumvent the realization that the Grim Reaper does not miss appointments. All phobias can be reduced to a fear of death, and all underlying motives to maintain the phobic status quo, are the product of embodying a fatalistic life."

Inquiry into your fear triad (avoidance, defiance, choice) *

Identify a fear or phobia that limits your life.

Examples: fear of death, fear of illness, fear of joy

How do you avoid your fear?

Examples: addictions, self-sabotage, aggression, criminal behavior

How do you defy your fear?

Examples: excessive risk-taking, seeking adrenaline rush behaviors, exceeding your limits

What is the self-destructive end that you choose?

Examples: violent death, major illness (cirrhosis, emphysema), prison

*Please note that these behaviors are enacted with mindlessness rather than conscious intention.

To learn more tools for your personal journey, join our monthly webinar on Healing the Wounded Hero.

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