Existential elegance is the quality of being graceful, discerning, noble, and dignified in times of rejection perpetrated by those we chose to trust. This pristine elegance is the most powerful antidote to unrequited love. More than “taking the high road,” existential elegance goes deeper than responding to vulgarity with civility because it draws on the exalted emotions and higher cognitions cultivated to deliver us from darkness.
But before elegance can heal wounds of unrequited love, the damage to selfhood must be examined from the abyss created by rejection. A dismissal of love is an invitation to find flaw in the abandoned. And since the bidding comes from those we valued, self-blame becomes the impetus to find reasons for the rejection rather than resolution with meaning afforded by existential elegance. Understanding the enticement for blaming self or the coauthor of your anguish, requires strategies to disarm visitations from archives of admonishments. These blame-seeking intrusions manifest in shades of anger, nostalgia, fear, despair and other scenarios from the gates of perdition.
The healing antidotes require implementing them with unwavering commitment. If not - darkness wins. When anger surfaces, allow it to manifest in your mindbody, and confront the intrusive emotion with the antidote of gracefulness, nostalgia with nobleness, fear with courageousness, and despair with faith in your journey. Is it easy? Not at all, but the alternative is Dante’s Inferno.
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