If you could be profoundly honest with yourself and overcome your fear of being misunderstood, you could accept your brilliance when others see it in you. But to acknowledge stellar compliments without false humility, you have to find evidence in deeds that confirm your nobleness.
Before you step into your excellence however, let's look at how you were taught what I call pseudo-humbleness: a double message from the tribe that teaches you to excel and simultaneously deny it to yourself and when others praise you.
Examples:
Coauthor: "I love your hair."
Pseudo-Humbleness: "Oh, I haven't washed it in three days!"
Coauthor: "You're excellent in math."
Pseudo-Humbleness: "I just study very hard. Anybody can do it."
Coauthor: "I love your new car."
Pseudo-Humbleness: "Well, I had to get it because my other car was too old."
With the examples above, you can see how we are taught to minimize our unique talents and downplay our prosperity. But why does this happen? The answer comes from cultural anthropology. Tribes require members of the group to stay within the pale for protection and the collective benefits of the group. To step out is to betray, abandon, or shame those who taught you "for your own good."
So, if you want to break away from the counterproductive double messages that you learned, you must cultivate a consciousness of becomingness in order to accept your excellence and your good fortune without apologies.
Examples after enlightenment:
Coauthor: "I love your hair."
Outlier: "Thank you! It's very nice for you to notice."
Coauthor: "You're excellent in math."
Outlier: "I'm very grateful for that gift."
Coauthor: "I love your new car."
Outlier: "Oh thank you, I'm really enjoying it."
For more tools to cultivate outlier consciousness, I invite you to join our private VIP group where we expand our horizons of excellence and celebrate our worthiness.